However, reconsidering and reframing your aging experience can empower you, enrich your life, and help you approach this stage with confidence and purpose. Here are six truths about aging that can profoundly change your life.

1. Aging is not the end, but a new beginning
   Many people view aging as a decline or an ending. In reality, this phase of life often presents opportunities for growth, exploration, and transformation.
   
   Whether it’s retirement, an empty nest, or another changing landscape, you may find the freedom to pursue passions you might have set aside earlier in life. Embrace this time as a blank canvas, ready for new adventures and experiences.
   
2. Your body may change, but you are still you
   Physical changes are inevitable as part of aging, but they do not define your identity or worth. Society may pressure us to maintain a youthful appearance, but true beauty comes from confidence, wisdom, and authenticity. Embrace your body as it evolves; the lines and changes are a testament to your journey, not a mark of defeat.
   
3. Relationships matter now more than ever
   As we age, the importance of meaningful relationships becomes clearer. The friendships and connections you cultivate can significantly impact your happiness and well-being. Invest in these relationships, nurture them, and seek out new ones.
   
   Don’t dismiss the mutually beneficial impact of intergenerational friendships, either! Surround yourself with people who uplift you and inspire you to be proud of your years, not restricted by them.
   
4. Wisdom often comes with age, and it’s a gift
   With age comes experience, and experience fosters wisdom. The insights you’ve gained throughout your life hold immense value. Share your knowledge with others, whether through mentorship, storytelling, or simply engaging in meaningful conversations.
   
   Your wisdom is not just an asset; it’s a gift that can guide and inspire those around you. Consider the impact if our ancestors had kept their knowledge to themselves—we would have lost a wealth of history and invaluable lessons that shape our lives today.
   
5. Your mindset shapes your experience
   Your attitude towards aging significantly influences your experience. Embrace a growth mindset, focusing on possibilities rather than limitations. Challenge negative stereotypes about aging by setting goals, pursuing new interests, and maintaining a curious spirit. The way you think about your age affects how you feel and how you live; so choose your thoughts wisely.
   
6. Self-care is essential at every age
   Prioritize your physical, mental, and emotional health. It might sound like a cliché, but self-care is not a luxury; it’s a necessity. Choosing to take a pro-active approach to caring for yourself as you age can help alleviate anxiety about the future.
   
   Engage in activities that nourish your body, spirit, and soul—be it exercise, reading, meditating, or pursuing hobbies. Listen to your body and its needs. Investing in your health now will pay dividends in your quality of life as you continue to age. 

Embracing these truths about aging can help to completely redefine your experience of midlife and beyond. Rather than viewing aging with trepidation, see it as an opportunity to live fully, with intention and gratitude. Each passing year brings new possibilities; seize them, and let your journey unfold in the most empowering and exhilarating way possible.

The post 6 Life-Changing Truths About Aging appeared first on TUT.

I was staying in beautiful McLeod Ganj, a quiet and quaint spot nestled in the foothills of the Himalayas. I’d already attended a few meditation sessions that I’d felt pretty optimistic about beforehand, but nothing seemed to be giving me the sense of peace I craved.

A woman I got talking to in a cafe mentioned a meditation morning taking place at a center deep in the mountains. I decided I’d give it a go.

Along with a group of other enlightenment seekers, I found myself sitting on the floor of a stunning, light-drenched sanctuary with incense burning and good vibes flowing. I had a feeling that something wonderful was about to happen. That during this morning of exploration and contemplation, I’d experience a profound inner shift.

Our (very serene) teacher was everything you’d imagine an expert meditator to be. He exuded an effortless sense of calm and nothing seemed to ruffle him. He was the kind of person I secretly wanted to be but definitely wasn’t.

There, in that most tranquil of places, I closed my eyes, sat in lotus position (or my lopsided version of it), kept my spine straight, and waited for the magic to happen.

After half an hour, I snapped my eyes open. The silent room around me was full of people looking as serene as our teacher. Apparently, I was the only one thinking about lunch and wondering why meditation sessions always had to be scheduled so horribly early.

My mind was far from empty. I was hungry and I wanted a nap.

It would take me many more months, years in fact, to realize that, for me, inner peace and acceptance weren’t going to come from a place of silence. They would come from a place of guidance.

Discovering guided meditations was such a relief because I was instantly able to relax into the experience, knowing that even if my mind wandered, I’d be gently steered back to a focal point by my teacher. I didn’t have to worry about whether I was getting it “right.” I simply had to follow along and feel the benefit.

When I became a meditation teacher myself, I knew that I wanted to offer guided sessions because I’d experienced first-hand how transformative they could be. Something I noticed was that most people don’t want to empty their minds as much as they want to nurture their spirit. And that doesn’t have to mean struggling alone.

As I’ve aged, my meditation practice has become even more important to me. It offers me a space of steadiness and support at a time when much is changing and uncertain.

Making my peace with aging has come from a place of education and awareness about a culture of anti-aging and its impact, but it’s also been bolstered by being in the present moment as much as possible, something that meditation helps hugely with.

As a teacher, I’ve seen students have beautiful breakthroughs from listening to my guided practices and finding ways to cultivate a positive relationship with their own aging journey.

Here are some ways that guided meditation can help you embrace aging:

1. Cultivating Self-Acceptance
   Guided meditation provides a space for reflection and self-acceptance. During guided sessions, you’re encouraged to acknowledge your thoughts and feelings about aging without judgment.
   
   This mindful awareness helps to separate your true identity from societal expectations and negative stereotypes associated with growing older. By fostering a compassionate dialogue with yourself, you learn to appreciate the wisdom, experience, and growth that come with age.
   
   
2. Reducing Anxiety and Stress
   Aging can bring about anxiety and fear regarding changes in health, appearance, or capabilities. Guided meditation promotes relaxation and mindfulness, allowing you to focus on the present moment rather than future uncertainties.
   
   Through guidance in meditation, you equip yourself with coping mechanisms to mitigate stress. This, in turn, can ease the worries tied to aging, enabling you to face each new chapter with clarity and resolve.
   
   
3. Shifting Perspectives
   One of the most significant shifts guided meditation brings is a change in perspective. Many guided meditations focus on gratitude and appreciation for life experiences. By recognizing the lessons learned and the beauty in aging, you can transform your outlook.
   
   A guided practice encourages you to celebrate milestones instead of lamenting them, embracing the richness of life as you navigate midlife and beyond.
   
   
4. Enhancing Mindfulness
   Mindfulness is a key component of emotional well-being, especially in the context of aging. Guided meditation teaches you to be present, helping you savor everyday moments that might otherwise pass unnoticed.
   
   By developing this skill, you can become more attuned to your body’s needs and changes, allowing for a deeper connection to yourself.

Remember, there’s no one right way to age and there’s no one right way to meditate. We’re all just figuring this life out as best we can. But getting support along the way makes all the difference.

The post 4 Ways Guided Meditation Can Help You Embrace Aging appeared first on TUT.

Maybe the days are laced with more than a little overwhelm as you navigate nostalgia for what once was or the ache for who is no longer here.

And everywhere you go there’s the music or the memories or the rising anxiety as you find yourself making comparisons about how happy everyone looks in the movie, the commercial, or the Instagram post.

Here are three ways to help you get through the holiday season with more joy and ease.

1. Boundaries

It doesn’t matter whether it’s Thanksgiving, Christmas, Hanukkah, Eid, or a barbecue in July. There is no celebration that is dependent on your suffering. You are allowed to show up (or not) as you need to, regardless of the family pressure or the guilt-trip from friends.

Setting boundaries can sometimes feel uncomfortable, and it can be hard to break the pattern of people-pleasing. But without boundaries, you’re leaving yourself wide open for overwhelm.

Communication is key. If you haven’t communicated a boundary, then you haven’t set one. You need to use your voice to state your needs, whether it’s about the amount of time you spend at a certain gathering or a family member you would prefer not to spend too much time with.

To effectively set a boundary it’s best to communicate calmly but firmly. You don’t need to be confrontational, but you’re not required to be overly apologetic either.

“I’d prefer not to do that” or “I’m not comfortable with this conversation” are perfectly adequate ways to express your needs. You’re simply letting the other person know what you’re willing or able to do or engage with. It gets easier with practice.

On a recent visit to London, I was staying at my parents’ house. Although I was on the go quite a lot, there were also some evenings when I’d just be at home with my parents, and I’d often retreat into my old teenage bedroom for an hour or so.

A couple of times I found myself questioning whether this was appropriate. After all, I was only visiting for a relatively short amount of time, and I didn’t want to regret not spending all my available time with them.

But then I reminded myself that I need alone time, especially as an introvert. Without that me-time—without that boundary—I’d likely find myself struggling. That means I’d be more likely to be less gracious, which in turn creates more opportunity for misunderstanding and potential friction.

Setting boundaries is a way of honoring our needs. It doesn’t make us selfish or uncaring. Boundaries are actually rooted in compassion because they signal that we care about our relationships and how we show up in them. Boundaries are a way of investing in those relationships so that they don’t break down.

2. “No”vember

Another thing about this time of year is the extreme amount of pressure that’s put upon us to say yes to every request, every invitation, every event. Again, our people-pleasing tendencies might rise to the surface. We don’t want to upset or offend anyone. But when we say yes to everyone else, we’re almost certain to end up feeling rundown and resentful.

A couple of years ago, a challenge did the rounds in November to start saying no to anything that we didn’t have the capacity to take on.

For such a tiny word, no can often make us feel really uncomfortable. Especially women in midlife who are often juggling many roles and trying to keep the peace.

However, saying no is also a form of saying yes. When we say no to what we don’t want, we’re able to say yes to what we do want.

Maybe by saying no you can say yes to more space (that doesn’t have to be filled), more peace of mind, more ease, or more joy.

If I find myself struggling to make a decision about what to say yes to, I pause for a moment, take a breath, and ask myself: “Will saying yes to this request take me a step closer to overwhelm or a step further away?” It really helps to bring clarity.

Remember, “No”vember can extend into December and beyond, too!

3. Your Non-Negotiable Need

You can discover your non-negotiable need by doing a few minutes of simple journaling. Start by contemplating what your month ahead looks like.

When you consider your plans for the coming weeks, what do you immediately think or feel? Notice what comes up in your body.

Maybe there’s some excitement. Perhaps a little dread. Maybe there’s an area of your body that feels achy, or tight, or restricted somehow.

Take your journal and write “When I think of the coming weeks, I feel…” Then jot those feelings down. Give yourself a couple of minutes or as much time as you need to write it out.

After you’ve finished writing, take a couple more minutes to read and review what you’ve written. Because within those feelings that you’ve acknowledged, there’s something that you need for yourself. Something that will help support you.

That something is your non-negotiable need.

Your non-negotiable need might be a block of uninterrupted time each day to go for a run, meditate, or binge watch a show on Netflix.

Try not to overthink it. It can literally be anything. It doesn’t have to be “good” or virtuous in anyone else’s eyes. You are not evaluating the merit of this need. You’re simply acknowledging that there is a need and you’re creating a container in which you’re able to honor it.

In your journal, add a new sentence: “My non-negotiable need for the coming week is…”

Writing down your non-negotiable need is a powerful way of affirming that your needs are worthy of being honored. I recommend re-reading this page of your journal each morning to remind yourself of what is important to you and to help keep you on track.

The post 3 Ways to Get through the Holidays with Joy and Ease appeared first on TUT.

We’re conditioned to believe that aging is the enemy and that the only way to feel any kind of peace with the aging process is to try to turn back the clock. We’re bombarded with miracle cures to combat the supposed crime of aging, causing us to seek solutions for what is a completely natural process. In short, we’re encouraged to spend our way to self-acceptance.

This anti-aging agenda is pushed on us from a very early age. Clever and consistent marketing strategies from a billion-dollar beauty industry are instrumental in shaping a view of aging that is rooted in struggle and stress.

We learn to equate youth with beauty and worth. We learn to equate aging with loss and decline. Is it any wonder that we’re uncomfortable with the idea of getting older?

What we’re really scared of is that our best years are behind us. We’re afraid we’ll never look better, feel better, or live with more joy, purpose, or passion.

Here are some of the common fears about aging, along with the facts we often overlook:

1. Fear: “I’ll never look better than I did in my twenties.”

Fact: According to whose standards? The beauty industry’s? Remember that their success is built on the back of our insecurities. Of course they’re going to glorify youth and flawlessness. That’s how they get paid.

Pay attention to the language used in beauty commercials, especially for skincare. Are they describing aging as a problem that requires fixing? Are they using much younger models to promote the benefits of their latest anti-aging line? Who determines what “better” really looks like?

Get curious about how we’re encouraged to define beauty1 and who is best served from us reinforcing those definitions. Curiosity creates awareness, and awareness leads to power and liberation.

2. Fear: “I’ll never feel better than I did in my twenties.”

Fact: Really? Did you feel constantly amazing in your twenties? Did you never have any mental or physical health challenges that you had to overcome? Did you have a constant stream of high energy and a life of zero stress? Or could it be that you’re looking back through the lens of nostalgia and remembering everything with more than a little bit of rose-tint?

While it’s true that there are some aspects of aging that can feel challenging, it’s also true that sometimes we cherry-pick the pieces of the past that bring us the most comfort. But the present moment will also one day be a past memory. Don’t be so focused on looking back that you miss out on the life that’s happening now.

3. Fear: “I don’t have the same drive or passion that I did when I was younger.”

Fact: It doesn’t have to be the same. After all, you’re not the same person you were at 25 or 35. How you respond to life now is bound to be different than you did decades ago because you’ve had much more life experience.

Maybe you’re operating at a different pace at this stage of your life, but that doesn’t have to be a negative thing. Perhaps the drive and passion you remember from your youth was actually fueled in part by the immense pressure we put on young people to have their lives all figured out.

Once again, check those rose-tinted glasses. Allow yourself to change. Permit yourself to explore a new experience without making comparisons. Honor where you’re at now and find ways to meet yourself in this moment.

4. Fear: “The future is boring and bleak.”

Fact: That’s simply not true. Unless of course you continually affirm this to yourself, in which case it might well be.

If you’re feeling unmotivated about the future then conduct a review of how you’re spending your time now. Are you surrounding yourself with people who inspire and uplift you, or are you keeping company with those who find opportunities to constantly complain? What you do today creates fertile ground for the future. You cannot reap what you haven’t started to sow.

As Andy Dufresne said in The Shawshank Redemption: “You either get busy living or get busy dying.” The future has the potential to unfold in thousands of amazing ways. Anything is possible. Don’t place limits on a life you haven’t yet lived.

5. Fear: “I won’t be able to control what happens in my life as I age.”

Fact: The idea that we’re completely in control of our lives (at any age) is somewhat of an illusion. However, we can absolutely steer our lives in the direction we’d most like them to go in and lay the foundations for the best possible outcome. Being proactive in all areas of our lives, from finances to physical health, offers a much greater opportunity to enjoy the years ahead.

Ask yourself whether you’re being an active participant in co-creating the life you want, or are you burying your head in the sand and hoping it all magically comes together? Create a daily practice that involves visualization and action. Decide on the future you most want and then take consistent steps towards creating it.

What wisdom and knowledge has aging gifted you with so far?

The post 5 Common Fears about Aging (and How to Reframe Them) appeared first on TUT.

Sometimes the only way for us to truly acquire the knowledge we need is to allow ourselves the experience of finding our own way. But sometimes it’s comforting to have guidance from someone who’s traveled the road already.

If I could spend a day with my 27-year-old-self, here’s what I’d tell her:

1. Allow yourself to re-imagine what success looks like.

We are sold a story that our accomplishments will always be measurable by money, status, or Instagram-worthy moments. But often it’s the unseen victories taking place on the periphery that offer us the real riches.

If you can let your head meet your pillow each night knowing that you did your best with the capacity you had available to you, then maybe that can be enough. Success doesn’t have to be centered in the spotlight to be meaningful. Look for the tiny triumphs threaded throughout your day. They matter.

2. Sunlight, dogs, and daring to be decadent on an ordinary weekday will not fix all the world’s problems. But it will certainly soothe a lot of them.

Let the warmth of the day find your face. Let the beautiful being of an animal fill your heart. Let the good china and special occasion outfit come out to play. Don’t defer your joy to another day when you imagine you might be more worthy. The time is now.

3. Your heart will break and not every piece of you will survive every experience.

The worst night will come and the hardest day will still have to be faced. When you have nothing left in reserve and even the next breath feels like an impossibility, draw strength from those who came before you. The ones who paved the way and forged forward as best they knew how. The ones whose names you may not know but whose love will always surround you. Let them lift you.

4. Nobody will remember your bad hair day or your mismatched outfit.

They’ll remember how you made them feel, how much you laughed, or how tightly you hugged them. Don’t get so hung up on worrying about the things that don’t matter that you don’t have enough time for the moments that do.

5. Healing seldom, if ever, looks like you might expect.

I know you long for the tidy version that takes place within ten therapy sessions and sees you almost effortlessly healed and whole. Dear one, that’s rarely the journey and usually the lie.

Healing is a messy, awkward uphill path you’ll frequently want to turn away from. But there is no fast track. No accelerated route. Don’t bind yourself to time and expectation. Rest as you need to, rage as you have to, and stay with yourself as often as you can.

6. Pay attention to who you long to turn to in times of both heartache and joy.

Notice who you most want to lean on or celebrate with. Keep those people close and make sure you show up for them in the same ways whenever you can.

7. Duality and complexity are not to be feared.

Nothing is ever simply one thing, and you have the capacity to hold multiple experiences simultaneously. Don’t fear the sometimes-murky space of both/and. There is freedom to be found in embracing our multitudes. Be present to the fullness of life.

8. You will stumble often, and you will sometimes fall.

You’ll continue to make mistakes. You’ll come to realize that the perfect life is an illusion and chasing it does nothing but deplete you.

Though your wisdom may grow, so too will your understanding that for every piece of awareness you possess, there will be so much more you’ll never know. Take comfort in this. It’s a reminder that you do not need to be an expert on everything. Or anything.

9. Balance might be the biggest myth out there.

Much as you want to believe in the idea that all of your days will be harmonious if you just implement the right schedule/buy the perfect planner/organize and compartmentalize each and every unruly hour, it’s not going to play out that way. Certainly not every day.

None of us can achieve perfect balance all of the time. Create structure where you’re able to. Stick with simplicity when you can. But let yourself off the hook for not meeting unrealistic expectations. The pendulum swings back and forth for all of us. Just try to find beauty and joy on the ride.

10. You get to change your life story.

The story that you’ve known and lived so far doesn’t have to be the story that continues. It’s tempting to believe that you’re fated to perpetuate certain cycles, and you might have convinced yourself that you’re “bad” with money or “unlucky” in love. But everything has the ability to change, including you.

What would you add to the above? What are the most important life lessons you’ve learned so far?

The post 10 Pieces of Advice for My Younger Self appeared first on TUT.

Sometimes we need a chance to re-root and remember who we are. An opportunity to take a moment, say a mantra, and bring ourselves back. Here are some words to help you remember your power:

1. I am not the before. I am not the after. I am the now.
In times of challenge we can often replay old stories or leap ahead to future fears. Strive to stay in the present moment. Notice each inhale. Pay attention to each exhale. Let this be the rhythm that soothes away any anxiety.

2. I am safe. I am loved. I am good enough.
Say these words aloud until your body truly believes them. This powerful mantra has helped me to make monumental shifts in my life and I continue to use it daily.

3. I believe in the beauty of who I am and what I was born to do.
You are a beautiful being and a capable person. Yes, you. Your path is not likely to always be easy or effortless. You will probably know obstacles and challenges, some of them will be difficult and painful. But you were born to be in this world, to embark on your own unique journey. Let nobody keep you from celebrating who you are and all that you can achieve. You alone get to decide who and what that is.

4. My thoughts and feelings are valid. I honor each emotion.
Sometimes we feel uncomfortable with our self-expression, believing that others know better than we do or have more right to take center stage. Do not doubt your value or underestimate your worth. Your contribution counts. Communicate with respect for yourself and compassion for others. Look to see who else you can help hold space for in this way so that each person is able to express themselves in a safe and supportive environment.

5. I recognize and respect my needs.
Our individuality is what makes our collective fabric so incredibly beautiful. We each add texture and color to the blend. Our personal needs may be similar to others in our lives or they may be vastly different. Understand that we each get to determine what those needs are and set the appropriate boundaries so that we can continue to live in our integrity.

6. I acknowledge my power and I wield it wisely.
Each of us has the ability to make a difference. Every action has a consequence. When we recognize that our thoughts become things, we are able to tap into our highest power and greatest potential. Create awareness around intention and impact. Let the energy that you pour into the world be mindful and magical.

7. I am not afraid of my fear.
We all feel fear at times. It is one of our inbuilt safety mechanisms. Creating courage is not about fearlessness, it’s about taking our fear and turning it into our fierce. It’s an alchemical process. Consider that every emotion is useful, every feeling is fuel. Nothing is wasted.

8. I already have everything I need to move in the direction of my dreams.
We often put off starting something we deeply desire to achieve because we feel that we are not yet ready to begin. We believe that a future date or time will miraculously see us more prepared. This pattern of thinking can keep us stuck and prevent us from moving forward. Take steps every day to move closer toward your goals. Preparation can’t happen unless you take action – today.

9. I trust my intuition and inner voice.
Your relationship with yourself is the most important one you will ever have. It will inform and influence all of your other relationships. By tuning into (and trusting) your inner guiding light, you will cultivate and further strengthen the courage that lives at the core of you.

10. I lovingly stand up for what I believe in.
When we use our power as a platform to lovingly stand up for our beliefs, we encourage others to do the same. Think of a person you admire who has helped create positive change in the world. Could they have made the same impact if they hadn’t had the courage to stand up and be counted?

11. Every day is a new opportunity to be more of me.
Every single sunrise offers you a chance to be more of your authentic self. It doesn’t matter if you messed up yesterday – today is a new dawn and it is full of energy that wants to be transformed. Notice the nature all around you. See how the sun doesn’t ask for permission to shine. See how the storm doesn’t behave meekly. Let them inspire you to be fully you.

12. I give gratitude for my fortitude.
Gratitude is a game changer. It multiplies the odds of receiving more of what you want. Every experience you’ve ever had has brought you to where you are now. You are braver than you realize, fiercer than you know. Look forward, move onward and rise higher into your limitless potential.

The post 12 Mantras for Creating Courage appeared first on TUT.

I recently took a trip to the beach and as I was walking along the sand I managed to lose my footing and injured my knee. I felt that sudden, sickening, sharp jolt that I’ve experienced before, when my body reacts with lightning speed to an unexpected trauma.

I got home and there I stayed, iced and elevated, panicking about swelling and how long my knee might take to heal.

‘What if it takes too long? How will I walk the dogs?’

‘What if it’s flared up my old knee injury?’

‘What if it doesn’t get better?’

‘What if, what if, what if…’

I reminded myself of words I’ve written before. Instead of saying ‘Why is this happening to me?’ ask instead ‘What is this doing for me?’

What if I’m a little slower when I walk and I notice more of what’s around me?

What if I appreciate the mobility I do have and remember how many people would love to be able to put one foot in front of the other?

What if I trust that my body knows how to heal itself?

What if, what if, what if…

How many times do we favor the loud, erratic, negative voice in our head over the steady, softly whispering, positive one? How many times do we run through the potential pitfalls of a situation before we acknowledge that maybe, just maybe, it might all be ok. That maybe, just maybe, it might all be wonderful.

Sometimes, because I’m human, I play the negative ‘What if’ game in my head. It’s like a little party for all the self doubt and fearful thoughts to come and hang out together. They LOVE to get together and go wild.

‘What if there’s not enough money for me?’

‘What if I’m not able to keep doing what I’m doing?’

‘What if they don’t like me?’

Yep, it’s that kind of party. And I’m sharing this with you because I don’t believe in presenting myself to the world as a totally together person who never worries or has moments of feeling fearful.

I’m also going to share with you what I do when that party in my head gets too loud.

I Shut. It. Down.

I acknowledge that it’s started and then I tell it to move the hell out of my head. Then I get out the good booze for my new guests. Empowerment. Strength. Possibility.

‘What if I keep going from strength to strength?’

‘What if I can truly make a difference in this world?’

‘What if the happy just keeps on coming?’

It’s ok to have fears and doubts. It is. They’re reminders of our humanness, of our ability to experience a full range of emotions. It’s good to acknowledge them, it’s just not great to dwell on them. Because when we dwell on the nasty negatives, we’re not leaving space for the amazing positives that really want to come and hang out with us.

What if, what if, what if…

What if I throw another party in my head? One where fear isn’t on the guest list.

What if we all just do the best we can today, with what we have today.

What if that’s enough?

The post What if it All Goes Wrong? Or… What if it All Goes Right? appeared first on TUT.

I used to give my power away too easily. Growing up, I wanted to fit in so badly that I’d suppress what I truly thought and felt. I channeled all my energies into molding myself into someone who was accepted by the crowd.

The end result was that I felt depleted, frustrated and unsatisfied. Instead of being true to my own needs, I was desperately trying to be worthy in the eyes of others.

Once I began to invest in me (and celebrate my own individuality), I found that I stopped worrying about what everyone else thought. I began a journey to freedom that has been ever expanding and continually rewarding.

Here are ten ways to reclaim your power and own the road:

1. Say no to people or places that drain your energy. If you feel like your interactions with an individual or a group of people leave you feeling drained and depleted then take a step back. Maybe it’s a small step back, maybe it’s a big one. The key is to create enough space to give you a chance to re-fuel. Then you can reflect on whether you want to keep your distance or not.    

2. Put on your own oxygen mask first. There’s a reason why we are told this on flights. It’s not possible to help and assist others if we are lacking the vital ingredients that we need to not only survive, but thrive. Take care of you. It’s not selfishness, it’s self-preservation.  

3. Ensure your belief system is one that truly resonates with you. Don’t believe something to be true just because you’ve read it or watched it. Much of what we are taught is based on the beliefs of others. Don’t be spoon fed. Listen to your gut. Your soul wants to seek it’s own truth. Let it.  

4. Don’t be afraid to start over. You are not too old and it is not too late. Ever. Life is meant to be an experience, not a rut. If you feel that you’re in a dead-end zone, then it’s time to get out. Drive in a different direction. The open road is calling your name.

5. Express yourself. Whether it’s verbally, through writing, or another creative endeavor, ensure you express your thoughts, feelings and needs. Saying what you want is empowering, even if your voice shakes. Don’t let fear be a reason to stay stuck.

6. Remind yourself daily of your worth. Affirmations are a great way of reinforcing positive messages and building self-esteem. Choose a few that you really identify with and say them out loud. Be sure to use present tense and start with a minimum of three times a day. Remember, energy flows where attention goes.

7. Just do it. Don’t overthink the reasons why you want to do something. Don’t overanalyze. Not everything has to be rationalized and dissected. Let your instinct guide you. If something speaks to your heart then honor it. Always.

8. Check in with yourself regularly. Our human experience offers such an array of growth and learning. What was right for you at one point in your life may not work for you today. Change is a positive thing. Don’t be afraid to steer the wheel to a new path. Say yes to each adventure.

9. Let go of excess baggage. If you’re weighed down with old emotions, then it’s time to release what no longer serves you. It doesn’t need to be dramatic, just unfurl your fingers and let go. Notice how much lighter you feel. Notice how liberating it is to cut the binds.  

10. Put your foot on the gas like you mean it. Are you driving or are you just cruising? Get clarity on your destination. Be prepared for detours, but don’t be thrown off by them. Keep your focus ahead of you. Put both hands on the wheel and move forward with purpose and intention. Put on your feel-good song, see the light turn green, and go!

The post 10 Ways to Put Yourself in the Driver’s Seat of Your Life appeared first on TUT.

1. Go barefoot when you can.
Let your feet feel connected to the earth without any barriers. Get grounded in the way that nature intended.

2. Roam free, maps are not always needed.
Trust your inner GPS. Let it guide you to new paths and fresh adventures. Travel often. Explore the lands that call to you. Let unfamiliar shores show you their treasures.

3. Cage nothing.
Neither your heart nor your soul were meant to be contained. Let yourself soar without restriction. Wherever possible, extend this freedom to all others that share the space of Mother Earth. Let liberty be a birthright, not a luxury.

4. Forget what they told you.
Live without limits. There will be times when you will be unsure which path to take. That’s ok. There is no wrong turn. Every step counts. Every mile matters.  

5. Color outside the lines.
Live with vibrance and flair. Take the dark colors and make them part of your rainbow, too. They are just as worthy.

6. Soak up the small moments.
They are often majestic in their own way. Slow down. Pay attention. Take time to notice what you see. We are surrounded by miraculous, natural wonder. Don’t miss all the magic by staring at your smartphone.      

7. Every experience enlightens, even the tough ones.
You may stumble at times, you will almost certainly fall. But you will emerge with a newfound knowledge and wisdom. Life is an education that a college degree can’t compare to. The greatest lessons often come from unexpected sources.

8. Money is a currency, not a definition of success.
Count love, time, health and happiness amongst the yardsticks that you measure your achievements by. Wealth presents itself in many guises.

9. All beings matter.
We share land and water with many incredible species. Each living heart deserves love and compassion. Never kid yourself that one life is more significant than another.

10. Let your legacy be one of truth.
Live authentically. Live honestly. Take time each day to listen to the whisperings of your heart. At the end of your life, be able to look back and know that you did it your own wild and wonderful way.  

The post 10 Ways that Wild Hearts Live Free appeared first on TUT.

I’ve been considering this very thing for the past few days. Here are some of the things my 40 year self would have liked to have told my 20 year self.

1. You are good enough. It’s important so I’ll say it again. You are good enough. Even when you think you’re not and especially when you’re told that you aren’t. You are. Hang on to that.

2. This too shall pass. It may sting, it may hurt like hell, but it will pass. In the depths of pain you will find a steely strength that you couldn’t have acquired any other way. Don’t tinge it with bitterness. Keep it pure and forge your way forward.

3. You will mess up. Sometimes it will be in small ways and sometimes things will blow up in your face. Learn to take responsibility for your own actions. Be accountable. Look for the lesson. Then, move on. Guilt and regret are weights on your wings. Let them go.

4. Dream big. You don’t have to play small. You have a unique light that wants to shine and glow and guide. Don’t dim that light for anyone. Ever.

5. Your parents did the best they could with what they had. Just like you are now.

6. Love hard. Love with every ounce of your being. Love with every fiber of who you are. Don’t dilute it or avoid it because of fear. To know love, you will also know hurt and loss at some point. Love anyway. Re-read number two.

7. Listen to your creative spirit. Your soul wants to sing to a song that only you can write the lyrics to. Nurture each creative calling. Allow yourself freedom of artistic expression without questioning its worth or acceptance.

8. Don’t stay stuck. You will change and you will learn and you will grow. Your fluidity is natural and necessary. Don’t try to contain your colors or restrict your movement. At different ages, you will have different yearnings. Go with them. Trust the voice at your core. Explore and play. Let life show you its wonder.

9. Cherish the friendships that matter. The ones that withstand time and distance. The ones that survive obstacles and challenges. These are the friendships that will carry you through the darker times and elevate you higher during happy times.

10. Learn to let go. People and possessions will sometimes pass through your life. There will be times when you will want to hang on tightly. To secure what you think you cannot endure losing. The freedom you seek is found when you loosen your grip and let go.

11. Neither your bank balance nor your weight define you. Strive to stay well balanced with both but let your ultimate aim be health and happiness. Don’t get too hung up on figures of any kind. Your self worth is not a number.

12. Be grateful. Cultivate gratitude and give thanks for what you have. Do this daily and you will change your focus from what you think you lack to what you realize you are enriched with. Click here to view The Gratitude Diaries.

13. Be open to change. Nothing in this world is permanent. Change may frighten you but without it nothing new can occur. No new joy can be experienced. No amazing transformations can take place.

14. Remember you have a choice. Always. It may not be a desirable choice or an easy one but you do have the freedom to choose. Even when it comes to the actions of others, you have a choice on how to respond and how to process your thoughts. Choose wisely.

15. Blaze your own trail. Be yourself. Don’t compare yourself to others. You are your own unique, flawed, colorful, wonderful self. There is only one of you and there will only ever be one quite like you. Go out into the world and make your mark. Be proud to own who you are and what you do. Be courageous. Fly high. Create the life you want to live and be who you were born to be.

The post What I Know at 40 that I’d Tell Myself at 20 appeared first on TUT.