That done, they trotted through the bushes, every now and then stopping to hurl clods of soil at each other or admire a bug they came across.

A big eagle soared high above them, and they speculated how it could possibly see, from that dizzying height, the little rats and rabbits it needed to catch. Theories were explored and the conclusion was: it’s a mystery, but it works.

At last, they reached the dam after many delays, detours, and a tumble or two. First, a swim had to be had on this hot day. Then a sandwich enjoyed. Now it was time to settle down to the serious business of fishing. Rods were armed with bait and the waiting began. One little guy caught a fish but the other was not so lucky. By now it was time to go home.

When they got home, parents wanted to know how it went. They excitedly reported the strange bugs they saw, the eagle who had magic on his side, and the huge weeping willow that provided them with shade. The success, or lack thereof, of catching fish was mentioned last and clearly was not the highlight of their outing.

So, gentle readers, why am I telling a story of two little boys’ fishing expedition? Well, because we can learn so much from them.

Life is about the journey and not necessarily the destination. If you do not look for things to enjoy and get excited about along the way to your destination, life is going to be boring and hard. 

The boys admired the “magic” of the eagle and the amazing bugs, and in doing so, inadvertently acknowledged the magic of the Universe. We don’t always need a scientific explanation; sometimes we should just enjoy the moment. 

They were present every step of the way and looked for things to enjoy and appreciate. If they had rushed to the dam, cast their lines, and ended the day with only one small fish, they would most certainly have slouched home thoroughly disappointed and disillusioned.

The little guy who caught nothing would have bemoaned the unfairness of life and suspected that life was plotting against him. His “bad luck” following him like a shadow.

Decide here and now to enjoy every moment, every twist and turn. The delays and the tumbles. You, too, will find a weeping willow to provide you with shade and a place to catch your breath. You will have all of that on your journey—that I can guarantee.

Don’t give up, don’t bemoan your lot, and don’t blame your “bad luck.” Everything holds magic if you care to look for it! 

So, have the swim, enjoy a sandwich, and watch the magic unfold. Don’t waste too much time and effort analyzing, understanding it, and getting the “formula” exactly right. Above all, don’t complain and gripe; you’ll get stuck in that mud, and you’ll miss all the fun on the way. 

After all, it’s a mystery, but it works.

The post It’s a Mystery, But It Works appeared first on TUT.

How many times have you heard this phrase and yet, it hasn’t helped you thus far? These words have not helped you to change your life or to create the life or your dreams. You are experiencing more of the same. You do not feel powerful. Perhaps you feel frustrated and at the end of your tether with all this creator stuff.

Well, perhaps a bit more information will help. After all, knowledge is power. Knowledge gives you the power to understand what is happening and why it is happening and this, in turn, empowers you to create, yes, create the life you want.

Let’s start with the word own, ownership. Ownership implies responsibility. The vehicle I own comes with the responsibility to care for it. My car must be maintained, and when I do have a problem with my car, it is my responsibility to have it seen to by a qualified person.

It is my responsibility to pay the bill for all the maintenance and repairs. Should I decide to not look after my vehicle, it will no doubt leave me standing on the side of the road sooner or later, and that would be my fault for not being responsible.

So, what is your responsibility as far as your life is concerned? Firstly, it is your life and thus you may lead it (within the bounds of law) any way you like. That said, you are obviously unhappy if your life, like that car, has broken down, and it is by implication your responsibility to do something about it.

And whilst a Good Samaritan may assist with getting you emergency assistance, it is and will remain your responsibility to get your life “fixed.”

All too often we grasp for an easy answer, a life raft which will come to us and rescue us from ourselves. This is not empowering and will not help you experience the power you inherently possess. Only when we accept full responsibility for our lives, how it has unfolded, will we also feel the power we own.

The more responsible you become, the further your wings will stretch. Blaming someone or waiting for someone else to rescue you only gives your power away.

This is not what is implied by the world powerful. Power, and owning it, means you have rights and obligations. It is your right to live your best life but, in order to do so, it is your obligation to be proactive, to take the steps to start the process of improving your life and circumstances.

You will not sit your way to success or complain your way out of dissatisfaction. Change will require from you a belief in yourself, your power; it will require effort, a certain amount of discomfort, and, eventually, the change you desire.

Only when you accept your rights and the accompanying obligations will you own your power. Only when you envisage the end result and take the necessary steps in between will you fully experience the power to change your life.

So, the next time you hear the words “you are a powerful creator,” remember create is a verb. A doing word, as my junior teacher used to say. It requires of us to do what is necessary to create the life we want. Let me say it again: You are a powerful creator and every day you are creating.

As Glinda the Good Witch in The Wizard of Oz told Dorothy: “You always had the power my dear, you just had to learn it for yourself.”

The post How to Own Your Power appeared first on TUT.

We all feel, or have felt at some time, that we deserve a better car, job, or partner; a better life than what we are or have been living. Another way to put it is to ask yourself: What you are satisfied with?

This is where that over-used but vitally important concept of self-worth comes in. Most of us have other-worth. We find our worth in the opinions of those we associate with.

Your boss tells you that you made a mistake, and now you feel stupid. Perhaps you doubt that you have what it takes to do that job.

Your partner looked at another and so you don’t feel attractive or handsome enough or, perhaps he or she said something unkind or even insulting and now you feel totally unworthy.

You see your worth as how others see you—or how you believe they see you.

Perhaps you tell yourself that you are so fortunate to have such an all-round awesome partner, and you better raise your game or risk losing him or her, like misplacing a valuable item. You feel solely responsibility for the success or failure of the relationship.

Have you noticed the frequent use of the word feel? You feel unattractive, unintelligent, not good enough, and generally unworthy. You don’t consider your worth sufficient to insist on better.

Feelings can be deceptive and often come from a flawed premise, such as childhood experiences or a broken heart from a previous relationship. These are often the unreliable messengers we listen to with total confidence; what we feel must be true and accurate.

Perhaps now is as good a time as any to start questioning and analyzing those feelings. Just because your aunt’s grumpy Maltese nipped you as a child, doesn’t mean every Maltese is waiting to pounce. These feelings are not a true reflection of the situation or facts.

The world sees us and treats us the way we see and treat ourselves because we communicate this in a million subtle ways. Every time you tell your partner that you don’t need a gift or order the cheaper meal on the menu, you are telling yourself and the world this is what you are worth in your eyes. After all, you are the one feeling, thinking, and saying this.

Your thoughts, feelings, and subsequent behavior tell a story, a story of “I am not worth more than this.” This is your self-worth, the importance you have placed on your own needs and wants.

Promise yourself, today, that you will buy yourself the very best you can afford, and next time you receive a gift, do not say “This really wasn’t necessary.” Graciously accept it.

When you change your thoughts, feelings, and behavior about yourself, the world will respond accordingly. “Me first” is not a statement of selfish indulgence but a statement of self-respect and self-worth. Your self-worth is your ceiling. You will never have a better car, job, or relationships than your self-worth dictates.

You deserve and are worthy of the best, whatever that is for you; it is your birthright.

Identifying and eliminating the feelings that tell you that you are not worthy of more or better requires some introspection and excavation of past experiences. It will require you to be honest with yourself about what you really, really want and, once you have identified those things, you must live in that space of “I am worthy!”

Do this every day and watch every aspect of your life change and the world respond accordingly.

The post What Am I Worth? appeared first on TUT.

These words form the contemporary poet Christopher Logue illustrate the power and freedom that awaits us when we allow ourselves to venture beyond the present moment and conditions. When we push beyond the uncomfortable comfort zone.

We get so wrapped up in our troubles, and the expectations we have of others in our lives, that we cannot see beyond the illusion of “I’ll be happy when…” And this is where our conditional living starts, where we give our power away to others and become dependent on their approval or actions for our well-being.

We want others to either approve of us or for them to behave in ways of which we approve. Thus, our happiness is always based on the condition that someone does something. That is conditional living, and it is disempowering.

You want to be happy no matter what others do or say. You have the right and ability to be happy if you choose, if you just start practicing being true to yourself. This is a choice we must make every day as we start our day, saying to ourselves, “Today I am going to be happy and not allow anyone or anything to upset me.”

This means you start and continue throughout your day focusing on the things that make you happy and not the things that don’t. Sure, we all have the irritations of traffic, a delayed flight, or cold coffee that are mildly annoying, but do not allow these to scupper your mood and your day.

In other words, thinking you can only be happy if everything runs perfectly smoothly in your life. Again, we all know this is unlikely as we do not control the traffic or flights. However, what you do control is your reaction to these situations.

Use the slow traffic to listen to an inspiring podcast or your favourite music. Use the time at the airport to read a good book or phone someone you have been meaning to but as yet have not.

When you decide to be happy, you will look for and find ways to be happy. However, if you go through life with knee-jerk reactions to all the little things, your life and happiness will always be conditional and see-saw from peak to valley to peak, a never-ending loop of ups and downs.

If I change my mindset and attitude to one of self-empowerment and self-reliance, then my happiness is my responsibility alone. My happiness will no longer see-saw because I choose how I feel and respond. I don’t just react.

Waiting for others to change so we can be happy is like putting lipstick on a mirror. You walk away from the mirror, and nothing has changed. You are still needy, insecure, and vulnerable. Fortunately, you do have a choice and positive choices have empowering consequences, a sort of cause and effect.

Similarly, you cannot rely on someone else to make you happy or to make you feel worthy. It is unfair to them and to you. That, in a sense, takes away their freedom, for if they care they will try to gain your approval and in doing so will not be true to themselves.

This is not how life works; it is not sustainable. At least not if you want it to work for you, and not just sometimes but all the time. We are each responsible for our own happiness. We can then bring a whole, healthy, happy person into any relationship. Then, you do not need to seek or give approval.

You are okay being you. And, of course, you need to allow other people to be who they want to be. They, too, to have the inalienable right to happiness on their own terms.

“This above all: to thine own self be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.”
—William Shakespeare, Hamlet

The post How to Find Unconditional Happiness appeared first on TUT.

The choices we make have a profound impact on our day-to-day living. It is worth looking at our choices to understand why we made them and how to make better choices going forward.

The above quote illustrates a choice—a choice to remain where you are or to dare/choose to venture into the unknown and discover who you are or who you want to become. Possibilities.

The choices we make shape our lives. Our habits and beliefs are nothing more than the same choices repeated, and these habits and beliefs shape our daily lives, what we experience, and how we react. This happens mostly without us realizing it, and then we feel victimized because we do not realize that our choices brought us to this place.

Dr. Wayne Dyer puts it so perfectly in his book Your Erroneous Zones: “It is important that you understand that you are a choice-making individual… The conditions you find yourself in… are a result of your choices… You are the product of all the choices you have made up until this moment.”

Learn how to make better choices and you can deliberately create the life you love. You will never again feel powerless.

Accepting full responsibility for the choices you make gives you full control, and you cannot have one without the other. You cannot take only some responsibility yet have full control over outcomes. That dog just won’t hunt here.

Decide who you want to be: a victim or the creator of your life. Should you choose to become the creator of your life, you have to accept that comes with responsibilities. The responsibility to put yourself first, not in a selfish way but in a caring way.

You care enough about yourself, how you feel, and the quality of your life experience that you no longer accept being abused or being treated with lack of respect or consideration.

You no longer shy away from voicing your opinion or insisting that your boundaries are respected. You can say no without feeling guilty.

Ask yourself, “What is my desired outcome?” Then choose the behavior that will get you nearer your desired outcome, not further away.

This, of course, also refers to taking responsibility for your health, food choices, and associations. Yes, to have a wholly happy life you need to be wholly responsible and accountable for all of your choices.

Look at the situations and relationships where you feel unhappy or not valued, and ask yourself, “Why do I choose to remain here? Perhaps it is time to choose myself. Put myself first.”

In sum, when you put yourself first, you realize that you have a voice and a choice. You take responsibility for your choices and their intended and unintended consequences. These choices range from how to feel, how to respond to how much credence to give to any situation.

This will have you in the driver’s seat of your life. No more knee-jerk reactions but only well thought through choices and acceptance of the consequences of your choices. And if you do not like the consequences of a particular choice, learn to make a different choice.

You are now creating your life—no more a victim.

The post How to Shape Your Life through Choice appeared first on TUT.