I think of complaining as “thinking small,” and I know how easy it can be to fall into that place! You may be feeling stuck, or you feel like there isn’t anything that can be done to attract more love into your life.

If you’re anything like I was, you may have “armor” around you that makes you feel that you can’t be loved, and that there must be something wrong with you.

I believe that our life’s purpose is to love and be loved, and everyone has the ability within them to do so. We may get hurt along the way and become afraid, jealous, or “grasping.”

Sometimes our perception is that we’re not lovable or that we don’t know how to love or allow ourselves to be loved, and we can start to experience the world through the lens of those belief systems.

The good news is, you can shift your mind and your experience, and tremendous healing can happen once you’re willing to allow it.

Here are 3 simple steps you can take to become a Love Magnet:

1. Take a look at where you’re coming from. When it comes to relationships, we’re often in a place of judgment, defensiveness, and attack. We tend to think that if we’re not complaining or attacking, we’re going to get hurt.

When we come from this place, we’re actually repelling love. When we’re actively judgmental or attacking, we start to sink into a malaise in our heart where we feel unworthy of love because we’re unwilling to be loving.

Deep down you may equate being loving with “giving to get.” You may think you’re being loving towards someone, but if your motivation is to get something in return, that’s not loving. That’s when love can feel unsafe, because what you’re experiencing isn’t love, even though you may have been taught that’s what it is.

Love isn’t trying to “get” anything—love is everything! It doesn’t lack.

2. Switch judgment to curiosity. When you judge others, you’re actually showing how you’re always judging yourself. For example, if you’re self-conscious about your appearance, you’ll find yourself constantly judging and evaluating others based on their looks.

Notice how often you’re doing this, and try switching to curiosity instead. Ask yourself questions about that person, and get really curious about them. Ask yourself things like, “I wonder what they do for work?” or “I wonder what their family is like?”

3. Broadcast love, gratitude, and appreciation. When you explore how loving and compassionate you can be—and move into practicing love—you actually release the idea that you have a lack or that you’re lonely or that you’re not enough.

One way to practice love and compassion is to start sending thoughts of love to people as you go about your day. If you’re somewhere where there are other people around, like a store or a restaurant, start thinking, “I love your smile” or “I love the way you’re looking at her.”

Notice everything around you with love, appreciation, and gratitude. Say things to yourself like, “I’m so grateful to be spending time with my friends” or “I really appreciate this delicious food.”

Start moving into gratitude, love, and appreciation without trying to control the situation or get anything in return. This allows you to have more love and compassion towards yourself.

When you have a judgmental or cynical attitude, this repels love because you’ve made up your mind that love isn’t safe. What’s actually not safe is when you’re in judgment, because that’s when you’re in “attack mode.” Keep in mind, the person who judges always feels judged, and the attacker always feels attacked.

If you’re constantly judging, blaming, or attacking—even if you keep it all to yourself—you won’t feel worthy of love. When you’re in a place of your own despair, cynicism, or judgment, you can’t see love or accept it from others. You may even feel repelled by their love.

The safest thing you can do is keep your heart totally open. When your heart is closed, your intuition is cut off and you can start to not trust yourself or feel worthy of love.

Broadcasting love, gratitude, and appreciation builds that muscle and naturally heals your feelings of unworthiness. When you do this, everyone around you will be magnetized to you. 

Love is healing because love is our true nature. When you start practicing love without judgment and without trying to get anything in return, you step into a place of healing. You can turn from judgment to love in an instant, and it’s amazing how fast this can happen once you’re willing to make the shift!

When we’re broadcasting love, we’re healing the idea that there’s something wrong with us, or that love isn’t available to us, because we’re actually being the love ourselves.

The post 3 Steps to Attract More Love into Your Life appeared first on TUT.

1. You’re both ready to grow old with each other.

Lust and inferior forms of love are characterized by a “good for now” attitude. Unconditional love means that you both accept that good looks and perfect luck are sometimes fleeting. What matters is how well your personalities mesh and how you make each other feel, even YEARS after the first time you meet.

The feelings don’t lessen over time. Your attraction and your desire to have them in your life only grow as time goes on. Even if you’re not nuts about growing old (most people aren’t!), you ACCEPT it and you’re happy that you’ll always have each other, come what may. That’s something beautiful, isn’t it?

2. You both tell each other your deepest secrets!

Everything about a short-term relationship is shallow… especially the conversation! On the other hand, telling each other your deepest (and sometimes darkest) secrets is an amazing feeling. Every time you probe deeper, you build trust.

Every time your partner confides in you something that’s personal and unrepeatable, you bond closely together. They’re telling you things they’d never tell another soul! It really takes a lot of trust and a lot of unconditional caring about another person to be so nakedly honest. The more you learn to talk honestly, without a filter, the more you realize you both understand each other better than anyone else.

3. You’re proud of who your partner IS, not who they “should” be.

So many short-term or doomed relationships are based on expectations, such as who one partner might “need to be” for this relationship to work. On the other hand, relationships that are real and long-lasting are based on mutual respect and mutual PRIDE. You’re both proud of who you are, what each other accomplishes, and even the little things your partner does that make him or her unique and heroic in your eyes. When people feel appreciated in a relationship, they’re much happier.

In fact, you’re so happy with each other, you don’t even bother trying to change each other into fitting into a perfect body or perfect set of rules and traits that the ideal partner “ought to” have. You love them for who they are, just as they love you.

4. You always openly communicate, without resentment.

Unconditional love is NOT about letting your partner do whatever they please (or their indulging you at your every whim). In every relationship there are boundaries and rules, but these rules are based on the simple desire to make your partner happy – and not wanting to cause hurt or grief.

Unconditional love doesn’t mean you allow your partner to do whatever they want, even if it breaks your heart. A partner who shares the same unconditional love will put your needs and wants equal to her own. What really defines a forever loving relationship is not a hedonistic view of desire. Rather, it’s honest communication.

You communicate everything, whether it’s how deeply you love each other, your deepest secrets and most private thoughts, as well as your disagreements. You communicate intimately and consistently, so that no resentment festers. You discuss everything and you always find a way to compromise so that both of you are happy.

You’re more eager to make up and move on beyond this argument, because this is NOT about power in the relationship, or who’s the man/woman in charge. This is about coexisting peacefully. This is something you both want because you have unconditional love in your heart.

In this love, you’re free to be yourself. You’re free to express yourself and free to feel secure in this relationship. You know what your partner’s thinking; you know their best qualities and their weaknesses, and you accept them. You both know each other like you know yourselves. You’ll recognize this and open your hearts up completely.

Unconditional love is real – 100% real!

You CAN find it, and you can turn a healthy and trusting relationship into an unconditional lifelong commitment. Learn what unconditional love really is, what it FEELS like, and then focus on meeting quality men and women who exhibit and embody these traits.

The post 4 Signs of Unconditional Love in Your Relationship appeared first on TUT.

I’ve found this to be especially true when it comes to love and relationships, although this can be applied to any area of your life. As you read on you can replace the word “love” with success, happiness, fulfillment, or whatever you’d like!

When it comes to your love life, a fear-based approach would be, “I have to change myself, because I’m not good enough as I am” or “I have to manipulate this situation or I won’t get love.”

On the other hand, a faith-based endeavor would sound like, “Everyone is worthy of love, including me!”

If you’re coming from a place of fear, when you’re with someone you really like – your insecurities can get triggered and your first instinct may be to try to cover them up and hide who you really are. If you’re covering up parts of yourself or pretending to be someone you’re not in an attempt to get love, not only is it exhausting – you’re wasting your own time and energy by putting up obstacles for the RIGHT person to find you!

Here are five steps to help you move out of fear and into faith, so you can start attracting everything you want in your love life:

1. Stop interpreting “setbacks” as indicators that you’re never going to get love.

The way I see it, there is no rejection – there’s only a wrong fit. If someone doesn’t want to be with you, they can’t possibly be the right person for you! You just “weeded them out.” 

There’s not a wasted moment or wasted opportunity, because everything in your life is leading you to the love you want and deserve.

2. Shift your attention to what you love about yourself – what YOU believe to be lovable and desirable.

Worrying too much about what other people think or how you come across is fear-based thinking.

Make a list of every single thing you love about yourself, and go back to that list every time you start to feel like you’re not “enough.”

You don’t have to conform to someone else’s idea of what’s lovable – because what’s lovable is right there inside of you already!

3. Think of how what YOU feel is “unlovable” about yourself could actually be lovable and endearing.

There’s a great quote that says: “We’re admired for our strengths, but we’re LOVED for our weaknesses.” When someone loves you, they don’t see your “flaws” the way you see them in yourself. 

Think about someone you’ve loved. You likely didn’t fall in love with them because they were “perfect” – you fell in love with them for THEM – for who they are as a person, including their quirks and what makes them unique.

4. Look for evidence that your “love story” exists.

Look for real-life love stories of people who are in a similar situation as you. No matter what it is that you feel might stop you from getting the love you want, you can find evidence that love knows no bounds.

Remember to focus on what you WANT rather than what you DON’T want – since what you focus on grows.

5. Keep your heart open 100% of the time.

Being authentic and honest about what you want will automatically move you out of fear and into faith.

Catch yourself when you start to “shut down” – and instead, practice keeping your heart open all the time with everyone who crosses your path. This could be as simple as being curious and genuinely interested in what others have to say.

Think about a decision you’re making in your life right now and ask yourself, “Am I coming from a place of FEAR or FAITH?”

Are you staying in a relationship or a job that doesn’t fulfill you because you have faith that things will improve – or out of fear that there’s nothing else out there for you?

Either answer could be true for you! The key is to be totally honest with yourself and see where you can start moving out of fear and into a faith-based frame of mind.

Your mentality shouldn’t be, “Can I settle for this? What if this is the best I can do?” and making decisions from a place of LACK. You want to be making decisions from a place of ABUNDANCE.

Once you move out of fear and into faith, everything will start to organically shift in the right direction and you’ll feel much less resistance during this process, which is extremely important since what you resist persists.

I believe that if you have a desire for love, you’re AUTOMATICALLY worthy! You don’t have to be “perfect,” you just need to have faith that you’ll be irresistible and of infinite value just as you are to the right person for you.

The post Are You Acting Out of Fear or Faith? appeared first on TUT.