While it takes just one person to see one’s worth, that person isn’t a romantic partner—it’s yourself.

I share this because I know I’m not alone in these feelings. It’s a common occurrence: looking for your worth in someone or something else. But how far does that get you? In truth, and in my experience, it leads to the same cycles and patterns being repeated until you find your inherent worth on your own.

Everyone has to learn the “hard way,” aka, find within what you are seeking out.

I want you to take a second to think if there is anything you are “dying” to have. Is there something you want that you don’t feel “complete” without? Is there something you don’t have that leads to you assuming negative things about yourself?

Or does a current relationship (romantic or not) lead to negative thinking about yourself? Do you feel at fault or to blame for what you wish you could have? (For example, “If I were more valuable, I wouldn’t be in this situation.”)

Now, if you were to obtain said thing (a romantic partner, a peaceful relationship with your mom, a promotion, a trip, etc.) tomorrow, what would that tell you about yourself? How would you then feel?

Do any of these words come to mind? Worthy. Deserving. Loved. Important. Recognized. Valued. Validated.

If yes, then it’s likely you’re searching for your inherent value in an external scenario. The scenario being what you are “dying” to have. This will especially be the case if you can think back to repeating situations.

For example, are you dating the “same” person just with a different face? Are you in the same type of job dynamic where anything you do is never good enough for your boss? Do you keep having the same fights with someone significant in your life?

The scenario at play here will look different for everyone, but the motive is the same: searching for one’s value and worth outside of oneself.

While it’s worth looking into where these feelings of “lack” originate from, this post is about shedding light on each individual’s worth. When one instills positive beliefs about oneself, real changes begin to manifest in one’s life. The main thing to know and believe, wholeheartedly, is your worth.

You are worthy just as you are in this current moment. With all the baggage you feel you have, with all the good and the bad, you are worthy, you are someone of value, and you are deserving of all your wildest dreams just as you are in this moment.

It takes nothing more than you just being you to be someone of value. Someone important, loved, and deserving.

You will likely not feel radically different after reading this post, but I hope it’s the first step. I hope it is the first day of many that you tell yourself how valuable you are. The more you tell yourself, the more you will believe it wholeheartedly, and that is where change happens in your external world.

You will be amazed at how easily the thing you are searching for (e.g. love) finds its way to you once you instill your value into your brain. It took some time and healing for me to fully know that fact. But, once I let it fully sink in, my boyfriend came into my life effortlessly.

I am no different, and of no greater value, than I was before I met him. I also don’t think of myself any differently just because he’s in my life. I found what I was looking for deep down within me (value) and received what I was looking for on the surface (love).

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Have you ever found yourself in a place or situation you’ve said you don’t want to be in? Unsure why you’re feeling the feelings you’ve said you don’t want to feel anymore? It’s exhausting and disheartening to say the least. So, why does this pattern keep repeating?

First, I want you to think of your mind as an iceberg. The tip of the iceberg (what one can see) is your conscious thoughts and feelings. Thoughts and feelings like “I’m angry,” “I don’t like this,” and “I want _______.” The tip of the iceberg is what is easily accessible and known to us.

However, our minds don’t stop there. We also have our subconscious mind, the submerged part of the iceberg. As we all know, the submerged part is the largest. So, what does that mean for us? That the largest part of our brain isn’t of “use”?

On the contrary. Our subconscious mind is what’s running the show we call our lives. That is especially the case when one hasn’t taken the time to get to know their true (aka subconscious) beliefs about themselves and their life.

Those beliefs are the root of one’s thought and behavioral pattern—what our lives make up. It is what leads a person to repeat the same patterns over and over again and be in the same place one is saying they no longer want to be in.

Mike Dooley is known for his saying “thoughts become things” and that couldn’t be more true. The thoughts we have create our lives. But what happens when our true, deep-rooted, subconscious thoughts and feelings don’t align, or, worse yet, conflict with the conscious thoughts one is saying to change their life?

You’re left in the same place you’ve been and not understanding why that is so. A subconscious thought is always going to override a conscious one, thus why so many people get “stuck” and aren’t able to manifest their desires.

For example, let’s say you are trying to manifest the love of your life who treats you amazingly, values you, is kind, plans for the future, etc. But, instead of finding your prince charming, you keep finding yourself with a bunch of frogs. Frogs as in people who don’t respect, care, love, and value you in the way you’re (consciously) looking for.

This leaves you feeling alone, not cared for, not loved, not chosen, not valued, confused, and hurt, time and time again. If this is you, and you no longer want this to be you, it’s time to uncover the hidden (subconscious) beliefs you have about yourself and the beliefs you have around love.

Those beliefs are attracting the frogs. Those beliefs are running the show and dictating the events that play out in your life.

In short, you manifest (create what is your life) from your subconscious beliefs.

If you find yourself in the same place over and over, spend time excavating your subconscious beliefs around that situation. The key here is to do so in a curious, loving, nonjudgmental way, as if you are an observer getting to know someone else.

Side note: There truly is no reason to ever judge yourself. The beliefs you uncover might appear scary and you might be surprised that’s how you truly feel, and that’s okay. That’s normal. Those beliefs are covered for a reason; they’re not necessarily pleasant. That’s why it’s important to get to know them, love them, and heal them, so you can catch your subconscious mind up with your conscious desires.

The best way to uncover subconscious beliefs is to ask yourself questions. For example: How did the last person you dated make you feel? Not cared for? Not chosen? Not valued? Not loved? Do those feelings feel familiar?

Can you think of someone else who has made you feel that way? Can you recall the first time you’ve felt that way? Who made you feel that way? Is that the story you’ve been telling yourself since?

Your answers are your subconscious beliefs—the very beliefs that are running the show!

Let’s say you answered that your parents made you feel unloved growing up. Can you see how you’ve been attracting people who mirror and “confirm” that belief? The very people you have been consciously trying to avoid!

Now that you have your answer, you can begin to heal that wound (feeling unloved as a child) and instill new beliefs (that you are so lovable). That is when you’ll find your prince charming. Your subconscious beliefs will now be aligned with your conscious desires to then manifest that reality!

This can be applied to everything and anything in one’s life. If you feel like you’re in a cycle that keeps leading to the same outcome, that’s a clear indicator there’s a subconscious belief blocking your conscious desire.

That tells you to tune into yourself, get curious, and go deep to uncover the hidden root belief to then exchange it with an updated one. Only then will you receive your manifestation!

The post How to Uncover Subconscious Beliefs to Manifest Your Dreams appeared first on TUT.

We’ve seen this in countless rom coms when the guy gets the courage to ask the girl out. We’ve also seen this in Elf when Zoey Deschanel’s character musters the courage to sing, something she’s vehemently said she only does in private, in front of a crowd to summon the Christmas spirit so Santa can fly his sleigh.

Leaps of faith… they’re scary yet exhilarating, cause for trepidation yet necessary. They’re also relatable… or so we wish.

First, why is that moment so pivotal? It’s because one action leads to everything falling into place. Taking a leap of faith is central for all the other dominoes to fall, so to speak. It’s also a buildup.

In most movies, viewers see a character shying away from a certain action, having internal dialogue about not feeling confident enough, then taking a leap of faith and finally doing that action.

It’s the moment where everything comes together for that character; the moment where a character becomes who they are meant to be, who they have been striving towards, and who now lives the life they have been dreaming about.

As nice as that sounds, what’s described above is the movies; this is real life. Not everyone gets their big leap-of-faith moment when trying to become the person they see themselves as in their head. The Universe, God, Spirit, whoever you believe in, doesn’t lead us like that. And that is a good thing!

If life were like the movies, there would be countless missed opportunities due to lack of confidence, abilities, and internal strength. What the Universe does give us are frequent, less obvious opportunities that will lead you to your goal or desire—like a trail of opportunities. In the real world, we get many little moments vs. one big leap-of-faith moment.

This can be applied to external and internal goals or desires. For example, say you want to purchase a new car, but need more money to do so. The Universe will present opportunities to make money. They can be as “small” as babysitting your niece to “bigger” ones like applying for a promotion.

Similarly, say you love to sing but get nervous in front of big crowds. The Universe will present opportunities to develop your confidence to sing in front of others. That can look like singing in front of a small audience in a retirement home, singing at a park concert, and so on.

The key here is your ability to recognize what seems like a small moment and then taking those small opportunities! Instead of writing those opportunities off because they are not your end goal, look at them as experiences to grow and develop into the person who has achieved your big end goal. Saving money leads to a car. A small stage leads to a big stage.

It is hard to see your development and progression towards your goals and dreams when you’re experiencing it and not on the outside looking in. With that in mind, trust the process, keep working towards your goal in the ways you can, and have faith.

Have faith in those small moments and take “little leaps of faith” time and time again. You will only be able to see your progression and have it all make sense to you in hindsight.

The Universe is always on your side wanting to give you what you desire. The only question remains is if you will see and go for opportunities when they are presented to you, no matter how small they appear. Making the conscious effort to work towards your goals little by little is the fastest way the Universe responds by bringing you bigger and bigger opportunities.

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While it’s natural to not agree on everything and to get hurt from someone’s actions and words, that doesn’t, or shouldn’t, equate to conflict. Conflict arises when one’s ego takes over to fulfill its desire to be “right”—to fulfill a story that it has created and is seeking to validate.

Those stories can include how someone views themself, their life, a person, the world, and so on. But is the need to be right worth more than connecting to someone, especially if that someone is an important person in your life?

If you desire less conflict, to be heard more, and to develop deeper connections, I highly recommend the following: develop self-awareness, be open and vulnerable to communicate how you’re feeling, and be open to another person’s perspective.

Self-awareness is a key factor here. Self-awareness grants the opportunity to see the various emotions you have throughout a day, week, month, year, etc., and allows you to be curious about how you’re feeling at a given time and why.

For example, someone who is self-aware can pick up they are feeling angry when they otherwise feel pleasant emotions. Self-awareness then presents the opportunity to communicate those feelings of anger, in a civilized fashion, of course.

To depict the importance of self-awareness further, I have two scenarios of a common situation most people can relate to. Let’s say you have a challenging day at work and you’re feeling overwhelmed and tired.

In the first scenario, you go home to your partner, are cold with him/her/them, flatly state you had a challenging day, and give short responses like “IDK” and “you choose” to being asked what you want for dinner.

In the second scenario, you recognize you are more tired than usual, feel mentally drained, and don’t have the energy to cook dinner. When you arrive home, you let your partner know you had a tough day, you’re exhausted, and ask if they have the energy to make dinner.

If your partner says yes, that’s great, easy-peasy. The responsibility of making dinner is not on you, and you can go recharge a bit in however way you see fit. If your partner says they also had a hard day, maybe choose to order take-in so the responsibility of making dinner is not on either of you.

The difference here is that you both are working as a team, listening to how each other is feeling, how to best meet the person where they’re at, and meeting both of your current needs (rest vs. making dinner).

There is absolutely nothing wrong with saying you feel anything other than positive emotions. There’s also no reason to put the pressure on yourself to do something you normally do if you don’t have the energy for it. However, instead of letting your ego win by snapping at someone you love, communicate how you’re feeling in a respectful, open way.

While this is just one example, the same formula can be used with any conflict. Be self aware about how you’re feeling, share those feelings, and be open to another person’s perspective.

Sharing how we feel opens up the conversation for both parties to come to a mutually beneficial solution and perspective. Communicating how one feels lets the other person know what’s going on inside your head and gives them perspective on how their actions might have hurt your feelings.

With that said, it’s important to not assume anyone else’s feelings or thoughts. Take these two statements as examples: “I feel like you never want to hang out with me” vs. “I feel hurt when you don’t reach out to spend time together.”

Which one are you more receptive to? The first statement will likely lead to someone going on the defense. The second statement grants the listener the opportunity to be more sympathetic, hear you, and be more open to a conversation where both parties will be heard to come to a solution.

The main difference between those two statements is being vulnerable and open instead of accusatory. If you find yourself being accusatory, ask why. For example, Why do you believe that the other person doesn’t want to spend time with you?

Be curious here because there’s likely a deeper internal belief that is running the show of your life and that will come up with multiple people or with one person in different, but similar, scenarios.

I understand it is scary to be vulnerable. Sharing how you’re feeling isn’t a wildly popular concept at the moment, but it is the solution to many conflicts that arise. The more one shares how they’re feeling, the more heartfelt conversations will be had, which is where deep connections and understanding can be established, not to mention less conflicts and drama.

Most of one’s problems can be solved when we share how we’re feeling and what we need. It can be as easy as—or as hard as—asking for help. It comes down to how you want to fill your life with. Let’s save the drama for our mamas and choose ease.

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