When I was around the age of twenty, my mom came to visit me at my apartment. She said, “I came today to tell you something about your brother.” I blurted out, “Let me guess: our uncle is his dad?” She said, “Yes.”

BOOM—there it was, that feeling. I had seen them together over the years and always wondered why they had a similar look, so it seemed on a cellular level I felt the truth. My mother’s face was astonished as I am sure she thought she and my dad had hidden it well all these years.

What made this especially maddening was that my brother had died in a car accident two years before. I asked, “Did he know?” “Yes, he knew six months before he passed away.”

My brother had started to get to know our uncle and had discovered the secret himself and approached my mom. My brother wanted to deal with this in his own way before talking to me or our dad. Sadly, he died before to being able to do that.

Fast forward: I’m 53 and have decided to get a DNA test. Why? I wanted to know more about my heritage. Mom knew I wanted to pursue this and made a comment about how I would not get to really find out anything since I needed a court order for any specific details.

See, she was from the generation where that would hold true, but not now with DNA testing prevalent as it is nowadays. It was then I said, “Speak up now if you have something to say.” She chose silence.

When I ordered my DNA test, I paid for information about both nationality and family tree. When I received my test results, I was so excited to review the nationality I initially forgot about the family tree.

When I finally remembered to click the family tree tab, everything changed. At the top of my tree, my uncle’s name was listed as a parent/child relationship. Yes, he was in the system. Wow! My mind was blown! My thoughts raced. Does nobody know? Why wasn’t I told?

For anyone who has had a revelation like this, it is at this moment that you realize that everything you know is now different yet the same. You feel a sense of loss with your identity. I recall looking in the mirror and thinking, Who am I?

I do not share this story for pity or sympathy, as none is needed. Once I took the time to process and move forward, I found remarkable hidden gems that may help others.

1. Realize your parents are human.
   Mom and Dad weren’t always parents. They were just humans trying to maneuver this world and yes, they may have stumbled and not made the choices I would have, but at the end of the day they deserve a little grace. I learned that my parents had decided to just live life and bury these facts from me and my brother.
2. Allow yourself the time to process.
   The information that you know deserves its own time at its own pace. This is a lot to process, so be gentle to yourself during this time. Everything has changed, but has it?
3. Do not let your brain fool you.
   Everything that you have experienced in life up to this point is not a lie. It can feel that way when you have a revelation, but it is not true. In my situation, I had a great childhood, and I was loved. That was real; it happened.
4. Find new connections.
   Once I learned about my DNA truth, I sought out new family members to have conversations about what was revealed. Was this hard? Yes. Was this a touchy subject? Yes, however, I felt it necessary to quiet the audience and discover my own truths.
5. Acknowledge divine timing.
   I took a deep dive into self. Why was this happening to me at this stage of my life? I acknowledged that divine timing is everything and this was my time to learn and discover. I made a choice to not dwell on the “what ifs.”
6. Search for hidden gems.
   What a gift to have a new family that wants to connect and learn about each other! It is even exciting to see those strange little quirks you have being mirrored right back to you.
7. Discover and explore.
   DNA test results are fascinating. I love learning about unfamiliar cultures that my nationality test revealed. You may even take a trip to connect with a new family member.
8. Empower yourself.
   Up to that moment decisions had been made for me. I felt empowered to choose what I wanted to do with my newly discovered information.
9. Forgive.
   This is the hardest, but it is invaluable to your own growth. At the end of the day, its humans being imperfectly human.
10. Open your heart.
    If family are willing to discuss, I invite you to consider opening the door to open-hearted conversations.

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Soup filled our bellies and our souls. Laughter was big in my house and Mom was the funniest. Most of those who met her thought she should have written a book or done stand-up comedy. Humor was always present, even in the direst of times.

In 2004, my dad was diagnosed with lung cancer. He was 69 years old and had worked in a papermill for 42 years. Most of his adult life was spent in an industry that didn’t have OSHA regulations, so the diagnosis wasn’t unexpected, but it was certainly still surprising.

Mom and Dad both had wills; they had plans with a living will and they each had their own DNR wishes.

Dad was sick about 4 months before he even asked, “Is it cancer?”

Dad was coughing daily, and he wasn’t getting better. The doctor requested we get hospice to come to the home and help my parents during this time. They decided to get Mom and Dad a twin bed each so at least they could be in the same room together.

One morning my mom called me and said, “Your father was up all night with his horror stories.” “What horror stories?” I asked.

She said that he was talking about dead people at the end of his bed, and she told him to stop it because she didn’t like horror. I said “Mom, the poor guy has lung cancer; his oxygen must have dipped really low.” She replied. “I don’t like horror.”

Even in Dad’s darkest hours, Mom is still running a comedy show—a dark one but comedic just the same.

I built my home right next to my parents, so I walked over to chat with Dad, and he told me that he’d had a bad night. I talked with him a bit and then Mom said lunch was ready for them. I told them that I would take some laundry for them and bring it back later that day.

So, I went home and had lunch with my son, who was home during school vacation. After we ate, I decided to work on a painting project since it was a nice April day outside. Next thing I know, my mom is screaming to me to come over; my father had fallen.

When I got there, she was in the kitchen and said “Dad died. He fell and hit his head, and he’s on the bedroom floor.” I went to the bedroom and there he was. Sadly, he had passed.

I had never had to deal with someone dying at home before, so I asked “What do we do? Call 911?” Mom said yes and so I did. The paramedics came and saw that Dad had a DNR due to his condition, and they comforted us and contacted the coroner.

Soon, a police officer was at the door. He came to see what was happening and he asked questions. I told him that my dad was sick; he had lung cancer. I showed him the DNR, and then it happened. Mom declared “Oh, I hope it wasn’t the survival soup!”

“Survival soup?” The officer asked and reached for a pad of paper and a pen. Mom starts to rattle off ingredients, “Oh, its chicken broth, carrots, celery…”

The officer looked up and said, “It’s a soup?” Mom said, “Yes, it’s a soup. It’s just whatever you have in the kitchen for ingredients. Survival soup!”

I said, “I am so sorry, but yes, it is only soup. There is no foul play here,” and I chuckled because that is just the atmosphere that I was brought up in, and it only made sense for Dad’s last day be humorous.

For years, when Mom made survival soup I would joke that I wasn’t sure I wanted any, since I knew what happened to the last guy who ate it.

I’m forever grateful for the gift of humor as it has been the one thing that always helps me through the toughest of times.

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At a tarot reading, the tarot reader told me the puppy I was waiting for was a special soul chosen for me by my previous dog, Otis, who had passed about 9 months prior. I could hardly get my head wrapped around that, since I had not even met Nigel. I was on a waitlist for this pup, but I never forgot the message told to me at that reading.

Soon after that tarot reading, the breeder contacted me and said that the litter was coming. The news was unexpected for me, since I was on the list for the April litter, not the December.

The breeder acknowledged her error and said it was the first time she had ever done that in her 25 years of breeding dogs, but she would honor it if the litter had a boy dog, as that was my request.

On December 3rd, the pups were born: 4 girls, 1 boy. I thought about what was said to me at my tarot reading, and I knew that this was destined.

After meeting Nigel in person, I decided to start a social media account for him. I felt when our eyes met that Nigel had a message, and I was the one who was going to get it out there for him. The message was simple: to spread happiness. I decided to give Nigel the title of Happiness Ambassador as we grew more of a presence on social media.

People reached out to tell me how happy Nigel’s account made them feel. This propelled me to reach more people by just being kind and loving. Dogs love everyone. They do not judge; they do not care how much money you make; they just love.

As this account grew, it filled my heart with joy and really channeled my love of being creative. The account also made me realize how much of a social person I am. Just like Nigel, I too enjoyed spreading happiness and kindness to all.

I soon realized that on the vision board I had created were the words SEEN AND HEARD. It occurred to me that Nigel was guiding me to my better self.

Not long after, the Power of Positivity reached out, proposing a feature highlighting Nigel and me and our mission. This was a real opportunity to get validation from the community of everything positive, but I struggled with showing my face.

I meditated and realized that this was what I was working towards from the moment I met Nigel to now. So I stepped into my authenticity and owned it. Nigel again had given me courage to be the best me.

Through this process I found my voice, gained confidence, and stepped into the role of my true authenticity. I started a side hustle, became part of a women’s networking group, and I even received my certification as an Infinite Possibilities Trainer and reached Trailblazer status.

Nigel truly is a special soul that guided me to my destined awesomeness. Behind the face of this cute pup, I was evolving, growing, and connecting with spirit more than I ever had before.

So, if you believe in spirit, can you believe that it may come in the form of a beloved pet? I know that I am a true believer!

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